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The Curse of Knowledge…

On a recent trip, I picked up a copy of the Invisible Gorilla – a really great book about the tricks our mind plays on us.

You probably know the famous story about the experiment where people were asked to watch a video of a basketball game and count the passes?

In the middle of the video a woman walks onto the court dressed in a gorilla suit, thumps her chest and walked off again…?

Did You See Her?

When asked whether anything unusual happened, around half of the people did not notice the gorilla.

Amazing. But our mind notices what we put our attention on – so by focusing on counting the passes, it’s totally natural that we don’t notice the gorilla.

But – I digress….

It’s Not About Gorillas, It’s About Knowledge

The story that caught my eye was a different one. One that is at the front of my mind right now as I’m preparing a new training programme.

How Much Do You Know?

Have you ever had that feeling that your stuff isn’t good enough? That everyone “must know this anyway” so are you really adding anything new?

Well maybe that’s overstating it! But the reality is, that as experts, teachers, and communicators, we often underestimate the value of what we know.

And it turns out this is a universal truth. It even has a name – the curse of knowledge (or at least that’s what the Yale researchers called it).

When they did experiments to test how good we are at assessing what we know and how good we are at assessing what other people know, they found that we are particularly bad at assessing what other people know.

And, even worse – we tend to assume that because we know something – other people must know it too. I often find myself telling my clients that they are underestimating the value of what they know.

Your Customers Really Don’t Know As Much As You Think They Do!

This backs it up. Because we know something, we think other people know it too. And the science tells us that this is often not true. We are actually pretty bad at figuring out what other people know.

So – when you next worry that your blog post or your training programme is “too basic” and “don’t people know that already” – the answer is – “no, they probably don’t!”

I’d love to hear your experience of this – do you ever think go through that phenomenon – that you under-value what you know? Leave a comment below and let me know!

In the UK you can get the Invisible Gorilla here

Congratulations on your book!

These are words that I’ve heard a lot over the past few months. Since my book came out.

And I know that when you say that to me, there’s a small part of you that wants to how I did it. What it took. Because maybe you’ve thought about writing a book. But you didn’t quite finish it yet. Or maybe you finished it but now you don’t know where to go next.

Well, I want to tell you that it’s not that difficult. And that you can soon be hearing those words yourself.

What is it about a book?

I don’t quite know what it is about a book. But I do know that we love them. And we want to applaud the achievement of those people who get their books out.

Is it the emotional connection with our childhood? Our love of reading or being read to?

Or the respect we have for books as a teaching tool? As a statement of expert credibility?

Or is it just the process of writing? The creative expression? Or the completion of a sizeable project?

Whatever it is I find that people around me are very happy for me. They are ever so slightly in awe of the achievement. And inside many of them probably want to do it too.

How to turn “someday” into reality

According to the surveys I looked up, between 60% and 80% of us want to write books. Yeah, OK those surveys were sponsored by the publishing industry in the main. But even so, I still get the feeling from the groups I’m in and the people I meet that a lot of us want to do it.

That desire for self expression and distinction runs pretty high. But I digress…

Assuming you want to write your book, the obvious question is –

I know what stoppd ME for so long. I’ve been through those times of saying to myself, “I’ll write a book…someday.”

But I turned it around. I actually wrote the book. I got it up on Amazon kindle. And Apple iBook. And the nook. And six other digital platforms.

And the single biggest factor in moving me from someday to right now was a small but significant mental shift.

What’s your expectation of a book anyway?

The shift for me was all around the expectation of a book.

I realised that a book didn’t have to be what I thought it had to be. It didn’t have to be in hard copy – yet. It didn’t have to be 500+ pages and three years of research. And another two years of trying to find an agent and beating down on the oak-panelled doors of the publishing industry.

If I wanted to publish, I could just do it. I could make the decision and just do it myself.

It didn’t have to be the tome I thought it had to be. Quantity does not have to equal quality. My other half recently came home with a very short book. Barely a few thousand words. But high quality words. And I know that it’s actually harder to write a short book than it is a long book. It’s in the editing.

Anyway my point is that your book doesn’t have to be what you think it has to be. It doesn’t have to be your complete masterpiece.

Re-frame your expectations

Your book just needs to tell the world what you want to say today. You don’t need to include everything you ever want to say in a lifetime. There’s time for more books.

Make it happen

Change the word “someday” to next week, next month, July, December. Ask yourself what it would take to get this book out. And how would that feel?

Because I can tell you that it feels great when someone congratulates you on your book.

So – what’s stopping you?

So, what’s stopping you?

Is it the time? The overwhelming size of the project? How will you fit it all in? Where to start?

The uncertainty? The question you might be asking yourself “what if nobody reads it?”

The expectation, like me, of what your book needs to be?

The technology. Access to information. Know-how.

The marketing – how would I promote it?

Or just that you didn’t prioritise it yet in your overall plan?

Let me help…

I’d love to help you get it out there. I know how great it feels. And I know how it fits into my business. There’s a strategy as well as an action required.

I have an online course that walks you through choosing what to write about, how to make the writing easy, and how to get your book up on kindle and selling. Just click the link to find out How To Publish Your Book On Kindle.

I want you to hear those words “Congratulations on your book.” I want you to share in the glory of being ‘an author’. Even in a small way. Your way.

Let’s start shifting some of those blocks for you!

What would it take for you to get just a small piece of your knowledge and wisdom into a book format and out on the electronic publishing platforms? I’d love you to leave a comment below and let me know! And you too can learn how to Publish Your Book On Kindle.

The easiest question…

So I’m on the phone last week to a wonderful guy and fabulous business mentor. I’m talking over my plans for a new programme and want to pick his brains on two ways to deliver the training.

Option A is easy and comfortable for me. What I’ve done before. Tried and tested. Quick to get up and running.

Option B is a bit more of a stretch – a bit of a longer process. Nothing beyond what I can do, just beyond what I really want to do. It pushes me more. There’s more risk and more uncertainty. It’s probably a better result in the long term. But….

Resistance

…I’m having some resistance. “So, what do you think,” I ask him?

“Cathy” – he laughs – “that’s the easiest question you’ve ever asked me! Get out of your comfort zone. Always.

“Remember, it’s not about how much you get done in a day; it’s about how much fear you get through. How much you push yourself to grow.”

OK – that was pretty definite! I know he’s right. Of course he is.

But is it always that easy?

It isn’t always easy to take that step outside our comfort zone. And it isn’t always the right time.

I’m a runner. And I know, from painful experience, that if I push my training too far too fast, I get injured. And an injury can set me back months, even years. I need to stretch to grow and keep it fun. But I need to step it up in manageable chunks.

Growth and recovery

Growth and recovery. That’s the perfect balance for my running.

And it’s the perfect balance for my business. Growth and recovery.

I’m at the stage I need to grow. My mentor knows that – he knows me. There’s no way he would push me if it wasn’t right for me and he would have given someone else a different answer.

We need to develop that self-awareness. And we need those around to know it. How far to push us. What little encouragements to give us so that we don’t become stale.

If we grow too fast, we don’t have the foundation. The muscle strength. The support networks. The knowledge and experience.

But if we stay inside our comfort zone then it’s, well…, too comfortable. And comfortable becomes boring. It doesn’t help us do our best work.

Get out of your comfort zone

I know that in business there’s always more to do. Always challenges and places you can reach to get outside your comfort zone. Take it in chunks. Know your limitations.

Know when and where you need to stretch to keep it fun and fulfilling. To do your best work.

And know when you need to stay in recovery a while longer so that you develop enough strength for the next burst.

I’d love to know where you’ve stepped outside YOUR comfort zone. Where you took the deep breath and went for it even though it was new, a little scary, and where there might not have been your usual safety net. Just leave a comment and join the conversation!

You have a plan…

I was speaking at a high profile event over the weekend. It was Sunday. And Mother’s Day. I was first up. And it was the first time they had run the event. I should have read the warning signs!

So there we are. Me and Ken the tech guy. In the seminar room. With about 50 empty chairs.

But things don’t always go according to plan…

Those empty chairs kept on looking at us. No-one came. So we waited. And we waited some more.

It was time to start. Ken went to check on his other speaker and came back with the ‘good’ news that at least I was there because his other speaker hadn’t even turned up.

I knew it was a bit of a risk being first up but I was hoping for at least a few brave souls to keep me company. To spread my message to. To support. And inspire.

Ah, the explanation…

And then one of the exhibitors stuck his head in to say that no-one was being let in because the health and safety checks hadn’t been completed. That there was a very disgruntled crowd waiting at the barrier.

While it was nice to know that the empty chairs weren’t due to my lack of popularity, I wasn’t exactly in a great situation. I was out of time and the next presenter was on right after me. Not the best situation I could think of for a Sunday morning.

The first guests

Then two lovely, smiling, enthusiastic women came in.

“Have we missed it? Are we too late for the seminar? We really wanted to attend!”

The bluff

“No,” I replied. “Come on in. We didn’t start yet. We know there’s been a problem and we’re waiting for you.”

The dilemma

But I still had the timing dilemma. My time was up and I could see the next speaker pacing nervously and with a hint of impatience outside the door. And still, we had no advice from the organisers.

So Ken and I went to look at the speaker board.

“Well,” said Ken, “You could shift yourself down to the lunchtime slot? How about that?”

But ‘that’ didn’t seem like a great idea. I had my first two guests. Plus I had plans.

The action

So I took Ken’s sharpie (aka felt tip pen ). I crossed out the speakers’ timings. And re-wrote the schedule.

Yup. Crossed out the old times and wrote in new ones. A unilateral decision to shift everyone back an hour.

The visitors would still get to see all the speakers, in the order they had planned. Just a little later. And with the lunch hour, everyone would catch-up for the afternoon. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Make the best of a not-great situation

And things don’t always go to plan. You have to just go with it. Make the best of it. I was still first up and trying to do the right thing for those lovely ladies who had rushed the crowd to get to my seminar.

Ken looked a little shocked. “I’m not sure I would have done that!” he said.

But what choice did I have?

I could have complained. I could have stood down? I could have tried to find someone else to sort it out? But sometimes you just need to take the lead, make a decision and do what seems like the best thing to do in less than ideal circumstances.

Stick to your guns

So back to the room we went, Ken and I. All wired up with my mike.

And then more people came rushing in. Then more. Until we had a full room. Not everyone was happy about the timing, about being held back at the barrier for an hour. Totally understandable.

So with more apologies I just went for it. Encroaching into the time slot of the next speaker. This audience had come to listen to me and they were going to get the best I had to give them.

Sometimes life’s like that

I know it wasn’t ideal, but life’s like that. You always have a choice when you’re in those situations. And usually you don’t have a lot of time to decide.

Sometimes there’s just no backup plan.

So, what about you? Have you had a similar situation? What did you do?

I’d love you to leave a comment and – if you were at that event in London – then I hope I delivered for you – late or not!

That embarrassing moment when the bill comes…

Have you ever have that experience when you go for a meal with a group of friends. The bill comes. You thought you were splitting it between you. And then one guy (or gal) pulls the unexpected…

“Oh but I didn’t have a starter, so I just want to pay for what I ate…”

There’s something in the body language, maybe he or she turns away. And of course, typically, they manage to forget about the tip, or the bottled mineral water, or the bread.

It’s embarrassing for everyone. And our natural reaction is to want to save face – their’s and yours.

So you jump to fair

Of course they DID only have a main course. Maybe it’s better to just pay for what you ate? Everyone puts in for what they ate, you to and from. The bill gets passed around. You scrabble around for change and, yet somehow, there isn’t quite enough money in the pot at the end of it all.

And then there’s that small stain on the experience

Instead of leaving, laughing, joyous, and totally at one with your friends, you leave thinking,

“That was a nice evening”

Nice? Who wants nice? We want jump up and down wonderful!

So the whole experience a bit flat. Not that jump up and down wonderful evening you could have had.

I hear you, making the argument in your head that you should have set the expectations at the beginning. Decided how you were going to split the bill. Got clear from the get-go.

Because, what happens when you decide to be ‘fair’ in the moment, is that it can ruin the bigger experience.

And sometimes that’s more important for everyone.

And then there’s the other way of doing it …

I’m doing a joint venture at the moment. And it’s a total reverse. It’s a big picture ‘in-it-to-win-it’ situation.

We’re in it together. We’re both working as hard as we can, doing our best stuff, just getting on with it.

We’re not counting pennies. We’re not counting cups of coffee or who ate what (metaphorically speaking ).

We’re not counting where the leads came from. My list, his list, my social media, his YouTube. We’re not counting hours worked that’s for sure!

We’re both just in it, doing what we do, jamming ideas together and having a lot of fun in the process. We cheer each other on as the sales come in and we commiserate when the database freezes right before the big launch.

Of course, we’re in it for the business. We want this to be a win-win-win.

We see the bigger picture

We know that by working together, the results will be better for all of us than if we did it alone. And we deliver a ton more value to you – the customer – than we could possibly do separately.

I never want to be that person in the restaurant who asks to pay for just what I ate. Who forgets that, for a couple of extra $$ one way or another, I can ruin the experience of a great evening.

The bigger picture is more important than being fair

Because you know what, the bigger picture of business is more important than being fair in the moment.

I’m loving my first big joint venture.

Will I do it again? Well, we’ll see what the final numbers say, but right now, I’d do it again in a heartbeat!

So if it crosses your mind to start counting the chips, you want to talk about what’s ‘fair’ in your business dealings. Just stop for a second. Think about the bigger picture. Think about what you’re really in it for and make it a great experience. make it about that connection, and of course, make it your biggest success.

Love your comments, as ever!

How bold are your claims?

I spent some time with one of my groups reviewing web pages recently. And we were struck by how different the claims about their expertise were.

One member is doing a joint venture with a partner who had given her some copy in which he claimed to be:

“THE #1 leading expert in …”

Now this is a pretty bold claim. And he’s good but he’s not exactly a household name. But it became even more interesting was when we came round to looking at the site for another member of the group. She really IS the leading expert in her field. She has decades of experience, an incredible presence and she created a cutting edge technique that she now promotes online. Yet she was making much more modest claims about her expertise, just describing herself as a “specialist”.

So why is this?

I think in part it’s a gender thing. Women – in general – tend to be much more modest about what they say and what space they claim as theirs. I’m not talking about everyone of course but even when I go to offline networking events, it’s the men who tend to shout up about how great they are and the women who are waiting until they have ‘enough’ experience to start to promote themselves.

So, it’s about confidence?

Well, partly. It’s hard to claim your expertise without confidence. But it’s more than that…

Claim your space

Put a stake in the ground. Even if you’re not entirely confident inside then I want you to get really clear about the what you do and the value you add in your field. You don’t have to be an expert in everything. You don’t have to do what everyone else does. But in your area, your microcosm of knowledge – you are the go-to person. The enthusiast. the person who loves to talk and learn about everything new.

And that’s when you know. When you really feel it inside. Become the leading expert in your area. Own your expertise. No matter how small your area is. Be the go-to person. And then make sure you shout about it loud and clear.

So how do I become an expert?

Just start by taking an objective look at what you say about yourself right now. How can you turn that into a much bolder statement?

What would it take to make you THE leading expert in your field?

And what’s stopping you making those claims – is it lack of expertise or lack of balls?

I’d love you to leave a comment and tell me more about where you’re the expert, and what’s stopping you claiming your space…

And if you’re struggling to claim your expertise – or you’re struggling to make a good income from it then go over to my Get Momentum Programme. It’s designed to help new entrepreneurs focus on what’s important so that you can turn your idea into a great business, and design the right mix of products and programmes to get that income you want flowing in. I can’t wait to help you find out how you can become the expert you always wanted to be. And until then, make sure you’re signed up for updates from me.

When you’re celebrating don’t forget to celebrate yourself

In one of my mastermind groups this week – the last one of the year – I wanted to take some time for everyone to celebrate what we’d achieved this year. It’s so easy to focus on all the things we still need or want to do and the things that go wrong. But look back over a longer period and you will be able to see your bigger achievements. Year-end is a great time to be proud of how far you’ve come.

Five ways to celebrate your achievements

Here are some things to keep in mind when you ask yourself what you want to celebrate about your year.

1. Define your own year

One of the group had been ill in January and wanted to start her year at the turn of the Chinese New Year (I remember us having that conversation at the time!). Plus she has a launch coming up for January so she was firmly of the view that she wanted to define her own year and not be bound by the simple calendar. Take that on board and feel free to define your own year.

2. Make your list but then ask someone else what they think you achieved

Two members of the group had started whole new businesses and yet neither of them mentioned this – it’s amazing what we forget or what we under-value. Get someone to remind you of what you did – it will be more than you think.

3. Celebrate the tangibles – but the intangibles are sometimes more meaningful

We all had achievements of books and products – and those new business ventures I mentioned – to celebrate – the hard stuff. But more meaningful to  most of us was the learning and the growth we’d been through as individuals. Where we’d allowed ourselves to let go of certain beliefs, other people’s ways of doing things, time pressures or expectations. All those processes we’d tried and dismissed. The confidence we’d developed in our own judgement. Our understanding that relationships and people are so much more important than business at the end of the day. These were the things we felt most proud of.

4. Celebrate the evolution

And we’d all evolved. Whether to whole new businesses or just small changes in the way we were working. Looking back over the year, and doing this with a group, this was probably the most surprising common factor in our celebration. All of our businesses had gone through changes and we were all in a better place business-wise. So if you’re feeling the frustration that things don’t seem to be coming together for then just know that it’s part of the process and they will, when it’s the right time for you.

5. Be really proud of yourself

Celebrating in a group is a great way to get feedback and let others reflect back what we achieved. But if you’re doing this for yourself then allow yourself to be really, over-the-top proud of what you did this year. Of how talented, committed, and powerful you are. You are amazing!

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a wonderful year ahead.

I’d love to know what you want to celebrate when you look back over the year. Leave a comment and let us give you a big, virtual ‘high five’ for it!

The More Positive Action I Take The Luckier I Am

I was being interviewed for a lifestyle magazine on Friday (I know, very exciting, and I was honoured to be chosen!) and the interview told me that she had been intrigued by one of my tweets where I said

Now at the time I was being a little tongue in cheek and paying passing tribute to Thomas Jefferson who said

And I was also making reference to the wonderful book by Richard Wiseman The Luck Factor in which he researches the nature of being ‘lucky’.

What It Takes To Be Lucky

Professor Wiseman find that optimistic people are luckier and sets out four principles that can help any of us become ‘luckier’ in our lives. All we need is to:

1. maximise our opportunities
2. listen to our hunches and grab the ‘right’ ones as they come along
3. expect good fortune
4. turn our bad luck into good luck

His basic premise is that we have to maximise what we do to create opportunities, and then have to have the judgement to grab the right ones – the ones that fit us – and then act on them.

For me the hardest one is the last one. I can be a little impatient. But what I find is that even when I am frustrated that things don’t happen as quickly as I want, or turn out in the way that I want, sometimes the way things do turn out is actually better.

We Create Our Own Luck

It isn’t just that we (and I say we because I believe I am an optimist) see ourselves as lucky because we are optimistic. It’s that our optimisic nature means we are more likely to create opportunities and take them when they come along.

And So Can You

And so, I explained to my interviewer, I felt very lucky and privileged to be interviewed by her. But in fact I had taken action that had led – if not to this exact interview – then certainly to me being interviewed, invited to speak, and invited to write. I had, quite literally, ‘asked’ for the opportunity to do this. And so, of course, there was no surprise, only pleasure, when the opportunity came along.

So what action can you take today that will bring you more opportunity? More luck? More of what you really want? Leave me a comment below – I’d love to hear!