What Gets Us out of Bed in the Mornings (especially when we don’t feel like it)?
Very rarely does a weekend come and go and I have nothing to write. But Saturday I didn’t feel it, Sunday I didn’t feel it and now it’s Monday. The commitment I have to write weekly is always there in the background, not as a nagging ‘to-do’ but as something I want to do, with a lightness of ease, rather than a heaviness of ‘should do’. So here I am, wondering what to write, or whether I’ll even write anything at all. Sure, I could make excuses. I could say ‘oh I’ve had the flu’ (true!) but when I look objectively, it isn’t that I haven’t written anything–I’ve started three different posts–it’s that I don’t have the enthusiasm for any of them enough to want to complete and press ‘publish’ on this post. And so it is sometimes: we just don’t feel like it, and yet still we turn up. And that’s the part that makes me laugh (mostly at myself!). I sat down this morning and words are coming out, even though I thought they wouldn’t. It reminded me of those bigger actions we take: continuing to offer lunch whether my son eats it or not, continuing to do our job, to push our project forward inch by inch, whether we see results or not. It seems to me that there’s a primeval (some would say a divine) desire to move, the very force that gets us out of bed in the mornings — knowing that we are meant to be doing something. Which means that what we do is of so much less importance than the fact that we do. The alternative is that we stay caught in our thoughts, that we stay tied in a muddle of ‘should I do this?’ Or, ‘why not this?’ Or, ‘if only I had X…’ (often showing up as clarity, purpose, knowing what to do, finding the magic pill solution…) ‘then I would feel better and I’d be able to get on with it.’ (whatever ‘it’ is!) When really, my friend, it’s simply reaching out a hand of connection and saying,
I don’t feel on top of the world right now, so my ideas mostly appear to me to be rubbish, and probably are. But, you know what, that feeling will pass. Let’s just sit down together and see what shows up.