Leadership in the New Normal (part three): Authenticity. How to be 'better' and still be 'you'

Who am I…

The third of the leadership series took us exploring the question what it means to be authentic—how we can be better and yet still be who we are.

And… there was a deeper question on the table, which is not so much about finding who we are, but whether it’s possible to lose track of who we are?

I so appreciate and acknowledge those who come along to these small group conversations for participating fully and honestly, for being willing to share what occupies them, where they are needing to draw on new strengths and how they are adapting. There is nothing more precious (in my mind) to being present to what is real for you and being willing to share with someone you might have just met for the first time…

To me that’s the very definition of being authentic—that willingness to show up as ‘who we are’ in any moment—knowing that we bring all our skills and experience with us, but allowing that to process in the background and bring up something fresh and clean in the moment.

Finding ‘You’

It can look as if there’s this thing called ‘you’ and you have to find it. Or at least uncover it through a series of tests and profiles and understanding strengths and weaknesses… And that they somehow translate to a perfect fit job or career—the one that will be a full expression of who we are, oh, and make us happy in the process.

Really…?

What if there is nothing to be found and only a sense of being more or less authentic in any moment? That looks more accurate to me, and I was able to test this idea by asking, after the first small group discussion, where we might rate ourselves on an authenticity meter during any moment of that short conversation.

Everyone had an answer.

And, you too, how ‘authentic’ was your last interaction with a real human? I bet you can put a score on it? Or, at least you have a sense of ‘more’ or ‘less’?

Which means that authentic is not a place to get to, it’s a place to feel into.

Presence

Someone in the group called it ‘presence’ and I think that’s a better word because it captures the the feeling of something rather than trying to define a word. I like it when we can shift nouns to be verbs because it feels true to the idea that we are always in motion, in and out of doing something, rather than attempting to reach a fixed place that only exists in the way we define it.

As we went around the group it was obvious that everyone knew how this felt, that it wasn’t in the external container or coverings of how we choose to dress (literally and metaphorically). That, yes, ‘polish’, is something we can develop and use, an expressive art form in whatever form we play with it, but ‘who we are’ comes not from what we do or how much we know or how good we are at something.

Those things shift in response to the place and stage of life we find ourselves, but the feeling of an authentic connection is something that can be ever-present—it’s more like a sense of the soul of something or someone no matter how raw, or how polished the exterior.

I’m finding it hard to explain in these few words without relating exactly the conversation word for word but hopefully you can get a sense of the exploration and look for yourself at the difference between the authentic and the polished in you and in those you lead.

Visions, Priorities and Distractions…

In the next conversation, we took on the question of what are the important things to be doing right now?

When the world is in flux, when perhaps your work is changing, or the people around you seem to need a different kind of support, how do you know where to direct your attention? What are the big pieces of your vision and how do you stay focused day to day?

If you’re curious about other events, please do join the priority list (sign-up below) or check out what’s next here.

With love,

Cathy