Confidence, Courage and Conviction: a Conversation on How to Be Brave in Any Situation
Confidence Is… / Is Not…
I used to be super-reflective on all the reasons I couldn't do something...
Those words are from Maren Enkelmann, my interviewee today.
If you've ever thought that confidence is something you need to have, or that you can get by going on a course, practising techniques, reading books, or even 'just doing it', think again.
In today's interview, we shine a light on the true nature of confidence and we (gently) shatter the most common confidence myths. Whatever you've been told, whatever viewpoint you hold or teachings you've bought into, I ask you to put those aside for today and open up to a new perspective.
Maybe it will even make your need for confidence redundant?
On a Railway Platform…
Maren's epiphany came one winter's day, sitting on a railway platform, musing,
Someone needs to do something about this!
Ah, the universal 'someone'...
But what if that 'someone' was her? What if she was the person to 'do something'? No, surely not. Even her husband thought it was a joke at first...
As you'll hear in our interview, on that day, and in the weeks that followed, Maren saw something very different about needing to be ready, needing to feel confident, needing to pluck up courage, needing to 'work on herself', or put on a brave face before acting.
Confidence versus Comfort
Maren declares herself as someone who isn't super-confident and she admits to struggling with confidence for many years.
I realised it doesn't matter if I don't feel comfortable in certain situations; that doesn't mean I don't have confidence.
She's now come to realise that this doesn't matter at all—it doesn't mean she doesn't have confidence, it simply means she isn't comfortable in certain situations.
This conversation, however, is much more than Maren's story. It's a conversation about reaching for what we want, acting when we have conviction that we have something to offer, something of service to someone else, something they can't or don't see for themselves.
It's Our True Nature
When we see that confidence is natural, that it's gentle and true, and that we already have it, then, suddenly, there's a lot less to do.
We can forget the tactics and habits and preparation. We can focus on doing what needs to be done, stepping up, no matter how 'difficult' it looks. We can show up knowing that our embodied knowledge and expertise is enough. We can show up knowing we're ready, knowing we're good enough -- because it isn't really about us, it's about where we can be of service.
What I love most is Maren's definition of confidence.
It's probably very different to what you're used to hearing, and it flies in the face of the 'feel the fear and do it anyway' advice.
Listen in and let me know what you think...
Trust Comes First, and It Can Be Created
We also talk about trust, about employee relations in a stand-off situation, about corporate culture, about performance and about 'getting back into your calm'.
When we dial back the noise in any situation, there's something beautiful that is always present underneath. That's what I heard today and I hope you hear it too.
I loved this conversation, I'm grateful to Maren for joining me, and I hope our short conversation helps you find a new perspective on your need for confidence.