Other People's Epiphanies Are Overrated
I Felt the Earth Move!!!!
I was talking to a client last week who told me she sometimes felt a bit of a fraud because she hadn't had one of those huge 'epiphanies' in her life. She felt that her process of long-term and more gradual change stacked up badly compared to some of the self-help gurus she followed.
I challenged her,
Do you seriously think that someone who's had one insight over the past few years is more qualified to talk about it than you? You -- the person whose insights have been many and often? More qualified than you who has been on a journey of personal and professional development over many years??
My client and I laughed, but I was surprised that she'd viewed herself as somehow less powerful than the person she was comparing herself to. What I saw, that she didn't see, was able to use her creativity and wisdom, who was able to be deeply honest about the work she was doing and use her tremendous gift for bringing people together to create and grow a new community.
An insight is that moment when we see something differently; something we've always look at in a certain way that is no longer the same.
And that change of perspective means we can never see things the way we used to -- the change is irrevocable -- and so our behaviour has to change as a result.
It’s About You…
Insights are personal.
They come as a result of looking at the way we see our world, ourselves, and the people around us, finding something new and being open and aware. It can help is you have someone to show you a new way of looking at something (that's why we hire coaches!), but creating the space for ourselves by walking or taking time out, also help.
…and Not Them
What doesn't work is adopting someone else's insight as your own.
You'll know this if you've ever tried to influence your partner or a child—you can't force, or even persuade, someone to do something differently; you can only help them see it in a new way, knowing the change of behaviour will follow.
It’s About Self-Reliance
Here's the thing: the more we look inside, rather than at what other people think and do, the more we create what we want in life, and the more impact we will have in the world.
THAT is real self-reliance.
And that's what I love about the work I do with clients.
I'm not teaching them tactics that they may or may not implement, I'm on a journey with them to create something together, by building self-reliance. They don't need my ideas; all I'm doing is showing them how to have their own ideas, and how to know which ones to act on.
Maybe, this week, you could take some time away from the stream of reading or videos? Away from the stream of other people's ideas, and start to spend some time with your own thoughts?
Because, like my client, the more you allow them in, the more brilliant insights will keep on showing up for you.
Have a great week and here’s to sparking insights!