Where in Your Life Are You Waiting for 'One Day'?
What Not to Do…
A few weeks ago, I was in LA with a friend and she was telling me her latest TV crush is the US show 'What Not to Wear'.
I haven't seen that version, but it reminded me that I had liked the 'Trinny and Susannah' version from British TV from—well, quite some time ago! What I liked about the show wasn't the sartorial advice, but the matter-of-fact (OK, slightly obnoxious ;-) ), very British approach that Trinny and Susannah had to "just getting on with it."
The magic, in my opinion, came from the fact that Trinny and Susannah focused on the person in front of them exactly as she showed up.
There was no weight loss programme or fitness regime; nothing that seemed to require anyone to do anything. There was no need for the person to ‘prepare’, or ‘be ready’, or change anything in her personal circumstances.
They put the person in nicer clothes, added a little more make-up and suddenly a whole lot of self-love showed up.
Which is important because it speaks to cause and effect.
Waiting for ‘One Day’?
How many of us think we'll do something 'one day'? Where 'one day' is actually code for needing to create something before we can 'allow' ourselves to do or have the thing we really want?
I'll do X when I've lost weight, got fit, earned more money, got to a certain level at work... (insert your own favourite excuse here.)
Yet, when Trinny and Susannah, return to visit a few weeks later, those circumstantial parts of someone's life had often changed anyway. Some people did lose a little weight, others became more outgoing, more sociable, relationships improved…
Things change, not because those women were focusing on doing something different, but because they were showing up differently to their lives, coming from a deep shift inside.
Trinny andn Susannah don’t do this with any outward display of intention, there is nothing in their process which talks to ‘transformational change’, they simply help people see through some of the ideas they’ve had about themselves.
Which is what true transformation looks like. When our thinking settles, we see the world differently, and therefore we create a different world around us.
We become happier, and more at peace with ourselves, whether or not we end up with those things we thought would make us happy. And, surprise, surprise, when we stop obsessing them, those things often arrive anyway.
Those women created what they thought they wanted in their lives as soon as they realised they could be happy without it.
There is No ‘Doing’
The only thing that had been missing for them was the ability to see that waiting for 'one day', or expecting ‘I’ll be happy when…’ to show up for them, was blocking them from being happy now.
They were trapped in the very experience they wanted to escape.
This is what happens for all of is: the problems we imagine we have exist because we think they are problems....
It sounds paradoxical that thinking something is a problem is what creates it, and the solution is so obvious we often miss it—don’t do anything!
There is no ‘doing’, there is only seeing through the reality that we are trapping ourselves in.
Which is why you can be free, in an instant, of anything you’ve been putting off into the future.
I’d love you to reflect a little on this idea and look for examples of where things have shown up for you without any effort whatsoever.
And then ask yourself, what if that was how the system worked…